Lucid Madness

Isn’t it funny how one little incident can turn your world upside down when you’ve had cancer?  I’m a wreck today.  I had that gall bladder attack last week and now I’m all worried that when they remove that sucker that they’re going to find cancer.  And not just any cancer (which is bad enough) but I’m imagining that I have pancreatic cancer!  That’s one of the worst cancers.

I feel like crying . . .

My grandma was making meatballs (or something that she was shaping into balls).  I was helping her.  A yellow bird (big like a crow - not small like a canary) slammed into the wall above the counter we were working.  Grandma picked up the bird,squeezed it lightly and said - “It’s dead”.  She then tossed it over her shoulder and then grabbed another handful of meat and began shaping it.  I mentioned that she should wash her hands and she she chuckled and went on with rolling the ball of meat between her dirty hands.  Then there was an explosion.

There were ton’s of people at this house.  They were all there on account of me, but I’m not sure why…  While we were standing outside talking, I looked to the southwest and saw a huge explosion - atomic-bomb-like.  As we discussed what it could have been, we suddenly felt the air around us vibrate.  As we looked up we saw debris flying quickly over our heads, each piece leaving a trail of smoke.  Later we found out that it was a pressurized softdrink tank that exploded - in a town 30 miles west of us.  That little tank did a ton of damage.  At one point I could see ton’s of rubble blocking roadways leading to that town.

Later, we were in our small, open top, convertible type vehicle - not a car mind you.  And this vehicle hovered about 20-30 feet above the ground.  We were headed to a carnival apparently, because through the tops of the tree to the left of us, we could see bits and pieces of the carnival lights and rides.  We never made it there though…

I woke up.

I decided to try WordPress.  It’s got features that I’ve been wanting with blogger and haven’t gotten.  Categories, extra pages, etc.  I’m looking forward to playing around and expanding the world that is my blog.

I even get to download the data if I want to which I couldn’t do with blogger and I was able to import all my blogger stuff into this blog.  Furthermore, I was able to merge multiple blogs into this one.  Multiple blogs was my answer to the no category issue.

We finished dinner around 8:00 last night.  Shortly after arriving back at home, I got THE WORST abdominal pains.  I guess when I think about it, it wasn’t all that painful - more just intense uncomfortable-ness.  It hurt worse just beneath my rib cage from the middle to the right.  Nothing on the left.  My entire abdomen from rib cage to pelvic floor had this achey, dull but intense crampy feeling.  I figured I was constipated and tried everything I could think of - milk of magnesia, tums, etc.  Nothing worked.  I finally decided to take a warm bath.  I finally felt better - the bath was working and I dozed off several times.  After the bath the pain returned.  I thought if I laid and in bed and got myself relaxed like I was in the bath that maybe I could drift off to sleep.

No such luck!  Finally at about midnight I decided it was time to go to the hospital.  After urine and blood tests and an ultra sound, I was told that I have a gallstone and was referred to a surgeon.  I don’t know much else.  I don’t know if it’s one big stone or several small ones or anything.  Just that I’m going to need surgery.  Fun.

I canceled my next trip to PDX which was in just 10 days.  Bummer…

I was told to stay away from fatty foods and to stick to clear fluids until I felt better.  I feel okay today - just tired since we didn’t get home from ER until about 3am.  I took a nap and stayed in bed.  My body is sore - like sore muscles.  Maybe from tensing up with the pain…?  I dunno.

So - I meet with the surgeon on the 31st.  I meet with my physician sometime next week for a follow-up appointment so perhaps he’ll have information to share with me.

So Miss T has her first loose tooth and we were talking about it last night and she asked, “Will you still call me T_____ when I lose my tooth?”. I assured her that we would and she said, “…but won’t I look different?”

I was so sweet. I told her she’d still be Miss T and we’d still love her. Daddy told her we might call her ‘toothless’ but she’d still be T_____.
I love that she can make me smile with her innocent questions.

On the other hand Mr. B is being an ass. He informed me that his girlfriend was going to come over and I told him that she couldn’t that we had plans to go to the movies. I offered if he wanted to go with us and he said no and I told him he wouldn’t have to watch Cars that he and his friend could go to which ever movie they wanted. Nope. Not good enough. So he calls her up and tells her she can’t come over, then hangs up on her and says “thanks a lot mom” and tosses the phone. “I said come on - we can’t just give up our plans because you made plans for the use of MY house and didn’t inform me.” He doesn’t get that - he just thinks I’m constantly inventing ways to piss him off. Yeah right - like I have time for THAT.

Teenagers. Hmmph. If you have one I’m sorry. If you don’t - consider yourself lucky. If you’re going to have one someday - hold onto your hat - it’s a bumpy ride!