So…my son has become a differnt person - in a very good way. I don’t even know where to start. He came to me many months ago - and cried because he felt guilty that he was such a butthead of a teenager and didn’t spend more time with his grandma before she passed. We had a good talk that day. I had given him a binder that I found in mom’s things - it was full of all the pictures he’d drawn and stories he’d written for grandma she had saved them all - and what a great gift to him. To know and realize how much she loved him - years after she was gone. It was several days after that that he came to me with the feelings of guilt - like she cared so much and he had let her down. We got through it…HE got through it.
Another day he came to me and asked me if his grandpa hated him. I told him that I didn’t think he did…that he was just lost. I didn’t know how to explain it to him. I told B that we could call his grandpa - that I could find the number. He didn’t want to call - just wanted to know what I thought. We’ve since talked about how my dad would ’sneak’ over to the daycare where B was on his lunch hour because [I assume] that his new wife wouldn’t let him do so otherwise. Lots of little things like that…
Soon after, B seemed to grow up over-night. He got more kind, more tolerant, more helpful, more understanding. It was amazing - here he was at 16 and I think he understood more about himself and about life than I did when I was 16! He has such great insight into himself. He amazes me.
B also got on a health kick - I think it started when we saw that psychiatrist…and they diagnosed him with ADD and depression. I believe that when that happened he wanted to change and he seemed to really strive to understand himself, his feelings, he body. He also really enjoyed his chemistry and psychology classes at school. I think all of these things hit him at just the right time…and so was born the new Mr. B.
He started to understand that when he felt anxious or felt like bouncing off the walls, instead of all his normal, stress out everyone in the house behavior, he realized that going for a run made him feel better. WOW. Can you imagine being able to listen to your body like that? I’m still struggling with that and I’m 30-something! He began to realize the effect that sugar had on his behavior, mood, etc. He gave up soda and candy and sweets in general. He turned to apples, bananas, yogurt and such. He also developed his own workout and got really ‘buff’. Six pack abs, sit-ups, push-ups etc. That also helped with his mood and depression too…and I think he knew it.
These days, B still likes to hibernate in his room and play on the computer, but he also finds time to work out, box and eats fairly healthy. B and I can both tell when he’s gotten into candy or something because some of that old-style B starts to come out, but he realizes it and he fixes it.
In November, B came to me and wanted to ‘test out’ of school. He came home from school several days just crying - he was so miserable, bored, disgusted. We checked into it - and being 16 he would be allowed to be ’signed out’ of school by me. I asked him to finish the semester and that we’d sign him out for 2nd semester. I told him he’d have to get his GED. No waiting, no procrastinating. You know what? He did it! He passed his final tests with a 3.5 GPA [equivalent] on March 5th! YAY B!!!
He got a little discouraged on the GED thing at one point. In just a couple of weeks in January he had completed and passed all the practice tests with flying colors. We took all the paperwork to the college, paid the fee and he was set to take the final test at the end of January. We found out the day before the final tests that all the practice tests he’d taken were ‘invalid’. The particular set of tests he had taken were considered invalid as of January 1. So…he had to retake all 6 practice tests before they would let him take the final. He was so discouraged…he felt like he just couldn’t catch a break. He’d worked so hard and then had to do it all again. It was a bummer. I had to travel a bit mid-February so I just let it go for a couple of weeks. When I got back, we hit the practice tests again, got them done, signed up for the final and…. He passed. I’m so proud of that boy…
So - he had his diploma at 16. 6 days later, he turned 17. 2 days after turning 17 he comes to me and tells me he’s seeing about a job at one of his friends’ dad’s shop. Wow…he’s such a good kid. I hope it works out and he’s able to get a little life/job experience. We also need to get the boy a license to drive! He’s never really been interested…but he’s going to have to get interested… :) I’m sure that, like everything will happen in good time…at the right time.
So…my B has made me very proud. He’s such a good kid, a smart kid. I look forward to seeing what he’ll do next.
